Missing Faces at Fingerpainting Time

Yesterday I bought my great-granddaughter a set of fingerpaints. She will be 2 next month. I simply adore her. I remember how my children and grandchildren loved to fingerpaint. I found myself thinking, as I was taking pictures, of the missing faces of grandchildren I would never be able to teach or enjoy the simple childhood pleasures. Those were the faces of the children my two daughters had aborted. I did not know at the time how this would affect me in the future. I did not support their choices, but they did not seek my advice. Through the years, it has been a subject never talked about. But I do think about it from time to time and the older I get, the more I think about missing faces and opportunities. As I write this, the almost 2-year-old paints quietly and intently in the kitchen, her pictures all spread out, the prerequisite handprint with the date set aside to be framed later. Still I am haunted by the little hands I never got to imprint, the little lives never brought to term, and I am saddened beyond words at the loss. And I wonder if there are others out there who feel the same sense of loss at the missing faces.

What Children See

Years ago, a friend of mine told me a story about driving down the street, with his granddaughter in the car. A woman, with a car full of kids, ran a stop sign, almost hit him and then proceeded to roll her window down and scream every foul word he had ever heard at her, all the while shooting him the finger, and all the while her children watched and listened, as did my friend's granddaughter. I was appalled. Sadly, I have witnessed this behavior myself in the interim. This spot illustrates that children often mimick those who supposedly care for them. Be very careful the example you set. In your later years, you will regret it if you don't.

I Need a Silent Night - Amy Grant

I think this is a very representative song about what Christmas has become and what we need to be reminded of. My favorite part, though, is the child who speaks near the end. She is Amy and Vince's little girl, Corrina. Amy said she wanted to preserve her little 7-year-old's voice and so she has. I have recordings I am saving of all my grandchildren, most of them saved on my answering machine. Elizabeth singing You Are My Sunshine. Megan singing Happy Birthday with Nic. Kyla's first words on a tape packed away. I have never forgotten. Merry Christmas. It's almost midnight. Another Christmas gone. As she says in the song, the years go faster and faster. I can attest that they certainly seem to do so, especially as we get older.